Despair
by firelight3000
Summary: Summary inside
1. Chapter 1

_Authors note: Ok I haven't really got a summery for this beacuse everyone I come up with gives too much away. This is a Richard/Kahlan story and is set sometime during series two. As much as it may seem like it, this is not a one shot- there is a plot to it. Hope you enjoy. XD_

Kahlan laughed at another of Richard's stories. The mischief he got up to when he was younger seemed endless.

Richard sat across the fire from her, talking animatedly with his hands as he told his story. Kahlan leaned back against the log and smiled. It was heaven in the middle of hell. She dearly hoped Cara and Zedd would delay their travelling until dawn, but she knew Cara would never hear of it.

Dawn, they only had until dawn. An idea came to her mind as she moved round the fire to go sit with Richard. She was feeling very brave, and just a bit reckless.

Laying her head on his chest, she ran her hand along his thigh, making him shiver. "Richard..."

Richard gasped as Kahlan continued to caress his thigh. Using the same seductive tone that she had whispered his name in, she asked "Do you love me Richard?"

"Of course I love you Kahlan, how can you say such a thing?" Richard was trying very hard to concentrate on her words, but with her hand snaking higher up his thigh, he was finding it very hard to just breathe.

"How much do you love me?" She asked, changing her tone from seductive to playful. She was finding it very fun to tease Richard this way.

"More than life itself Kahlan" Richard was trying to keep in mind that Kahlan wasn't thinking straight and that he needed to be the strong one, but it was becoming harder with each stroke of her hand.

"More than life itself? Well that's a lot to live up to, prove it to me Richard." She whispered the last words in his ear, making him shiver.

Richard knew Kahlan was out of control, "Kahlan we shouldn't your powers..."

Kahlan silenced him with a kiss, "It's ok Richard, just let go."

Letting Kahlan take him, he fell into a heaven he didn't know existed.

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The blinding sun threatened to wake him as he held Kahlan snug in his arms.

"mmm Richard..." Kahlan didn't seem awake, but even so Richard lowered his mouth to her ear and whispered "Morning beautiful"

Kahlan jolted forward, her memories of the night before flooding back to her. "Richard, Richard look at me!" She panicked, grabbing his face; she twisted it from side to side, trying to find anything different about him.

Richard reached up and took Kahlan's hands away from his face, "calm down Kahlan I'm still me."

Kahlan was still doubtful, so she asked him to do one of the most embarrassing things she had ever had to ask anyone, "Richard, will you lie with me?"

"Kahlan if you haven't already realised I am lying with you" he was finding this very entertaining "but if you want I van spice things up a bit" He whispered the words in her ear, pulling her tighter to his chest, exaggerating the suggestive lift of his eyebrows.

"Richard this isn't funny, I could have lost you forever." Kahlan tried to frown at him, but his gentle laughter made her remember the night before...

"You know of all the girls I've... met, you're the only one to be displeased with my services. Is there something I'm doing wrong?" His words bought Kahlan down from her heaven with a thump. What other girls.

Seeing the look of alarm on Kahlan's face Richard grinned, "Don't worry Kahlan, you're defiantly at the top of my list."

Running a hand through Richard's hair, Kahlan whispered "Well why don't I show you just what you're doing wrong" before dragging her hand down his chest in her favourite tantalisingly slow way.

Kahlan continued to taunt him until he gave in with a groan.

"Sorry we're late, Zedd had to satisfy his stomach...oh" Cara trailed off, staring at them tangled around each other. "I'm guessing we're taking a break from the search then?"

"erm Cara do you think you could go away, please" Richard glared pointedly at Cara until she turned and stormed out the clearing. "Maybe she wanted to watch" Richard joked.

Just as he began devouring her again, she raised a hand to his lips. "Richard, Richard stop"

"What, Cara's not coming back, she has Lord Rahl's orders" Richard winked.

"Richard, I wasn't talking about Cara, I was talking about your grandfather" Kahlan blushed at the thought of Zedd walking in on them, defiantly worse than Cara.

"Right, yes. May help you get dresses Mother Confessor?"

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Zedd stood glowering at Cara, but for once he wasn't angry at her, he was furious at them. "You walked in on them doing what?"

Cara sighed, would Zedd always blame her? "Look, Zedd I can't say I was surprised that this happened but you can't take it out on me!"

"Cara, I'm not blaming you, but if I blame one of them, I will either have a sword to my throat or an angry confessor in my face" Zedd shuddered at the thought of Kahlan's wrath. Although he hadn't seen Kahlan in the Con'dar, he knew even Richard was scared of her then.

Just as Cara told him to be brave, Richard and Kahlan walked into the clearing, holding hands. Their wild grins froze when they saw Zedd and Cara standing opposite them. Bending down, Richard whispered "Something tells me we're going to get a lecture from the parents; I'll go get our packs." In Kahlan's ear and left the clearing.

Kahlan gave him a murderous glare before turning back to Zedd "So... um. Did you get all the supplies you needed?"

"Yes thank you Kahlan, did you get that rest you wanted?" Kahlan blushed at exactly what type of rest she got, but nodded anyway.

"Kahlan, I'm not mad at you. You are not my responsibility, but Richard is. Although I think what you did was totally irresponsible, I cannot blame you or treat you any different because of it." Walking over to her, he hugged her. "And I am happy for you", he whispered in her ear.

"Thanks Zedd, it means a lot to me."

"That's ok, but it doesn't mean someone can't get a little told off." He winked at Kahlan before storming into the trees after Richard, "Richard Cypher come here now..."

Stifling a giggle, Cara turned to Kahlan "Was it good?"

"Sorry, what?" Kahlan asked, barely focusing on the air in front of her.

"The sex was it good?" Kahlan blushed; she'd forgotten how the Mord'Sith liked pleasure.

"Yes thanks Cara. It was good" Cara opened her mouth to ask another question, but Kahlan was saved by the return of Zedd, still lecturing Richard. "... and you're carrying my pack for a month."

Kahlan tried not to laugh at Richard's stunned face. "Where now Seeker? Before we get even more distracted." Zedd asked, before storming of into the woods.

Falling in step with Kahlan, he whispered "Sorry if he yelled at you, I've never seen him that angry before. I bet George would have given me the whole "oh my little boys growing up" thing and left it at that." Thinking Kahlan was laughing at his father joke he grinned, not even suspecting that Kahlan was laughing at him.

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The next two days were pure heaven for Cara and Zedd. Keeping the happy couple apart, they drove Richard and Kahlan to the edge.

Swapping watches with Kahlan one night, Richard yanked her round and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Noticing Cara's open eyes she giggled "Richard, we have company. Now go get some rest before I force you onto that mat myself" Turning back towards the cliff edge, she barely heard Richard sigh.

Sighing herself she sat on a log and put her face in her hands. She began to notice dampness on her hands and when she pulled them back, she realised she was crying. She knew she had good reason to cry. She could feel her magic flowing through her body, but she could also feel it concentrating around her womb. Where she knew a baby was growing, Richard's baby. Just the thought made her dizzy, she was carrying Richard's child, they had made a child, together!

Just three days ago, the idea of a family with Richard was impossible. Now that it was happening, Kahlan found herself feeling terrified at what had to be done. Trimming a bit of hair, she took the silver locket from around her throat and put the hair inside. Snapping it shut, she tried not to cry at what she was about to do.

Dropping the locket on the floor, she turned back to the cliff face, said a prayer to the Creator and threw herself into nothingness.

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Hearing Cara yell, Richard sat up, still groggy from sleep. Expecting to find Kahlan next to him, he was confused when she wasn't there.

Noticing Cara crouched a few feet away, he asked what was going on.

With a sombre face, Cara replied "I woke up and wondered why Kahlan hadn't woken me up for my watch, so I went down to the river to go find her, but when I couldn't, I began searching the surrounding woods, but I still couldn't find her. I couldn't find her tracks so I woke you up to help me. Then I found this."

Trying to push away the fear that sparked inside, Richard tried to concentrate on finding Kahlan. Although Cara was good at tracking, she would have no idea what to look for if Kahlan had hidden her tracks. Standing up, Richard began scanning the ground for any clue's of which way she went. Hearing a sigh from Cara, he looked up.

He was surprised to see tears pooling in her eyes. Seeing that, he knew something was wrong, terribly wrong. "Lord Rahl, you won't find her, she's gone."

Trying to ignore the tears leaking from Cara's eyes, he tried to deny what she was implying. Seeing the deny filling Richard's eyes, she handed him the objects in her hand. "I don't have to read it to know it's true"

Looking down, Richard saw Kahlan's silver locket and a scrolled up note. Written in Kahlan's hand were the words My Richard. Opening the scroll, Richard began to read. The further he read, the deeper he sunk. Tears pooled in his eyes as he opened the locket and saw a lock of Kahlan's hair, just as promised.

Falling to his knees, he spiralled into an abyss of despair. "Kahlan" he whispered, before curling up in a ball and letting free his uncontainable sobs.

_oh you know what to do_


	2. Chapter 2

_Authors note: ok next chapter is up, hope you enjoy._

Kahlan grimaced as another man bumped into her. It had been almost a month since she had left Richard and she missed him dearly. She sighed as she imagined the pain she had had to put him through to save their child. One day, she thought, one day he would be back in her arms. Pushing aside the ach that filled her, she concentrated on the present.

She was going to go visit the midwife to ask a few questions. Although there was no doubt in her mind that she was with child, she knew it would raise suspicion if she didn't pay a visit to the midwife.

Stepping into a side street, she knocked on the door with the sign of a naked baby above it. As she waited, she pulled her cloak further around her, whishing that her new outfit could be warmer. The door opened to revile a chubby middle aged woman with greying hair and warm brown eyes. Richard's eyes. She shook her head, it wasn't Richard or even a relative of Richard's, it was just the midwife. Sighing at her pointless hoping she turned back to the waiting woman "Hello, erm I think I may be with child and I think you're the person I'm supposed to see about it."

As the woman's face cracked into a warm smile Kahlan realised how stupid she must have sounded. She wished she had Richard with her. "That's a lot of I thinks in that sentence, the cold must be messing with your brain, come in." Without waiting for an answer, the midwife turned and stormed into the house.

Following her in Kahlan entered a reasonable sized room with a pallet in one corner and a fire in the other. Apart from the door, there were no natural light passages entering the room. The rest of the walls were lined with shelves. Kahlan peered at one of the many strange concoctions in jars along the shelves and gasped when she thought she saw something move.

Turning back to the middle of the room, she saw a table with two chairs either side. Sitting in one, Kahlan shivered at how enclosed she felt in doors after her months of travel. Smiling at the thought of the outdoors she berated herself, she knew she wasn't smiling at the outdoors; she was smiling at the thought of Richard.

Facing the woman, she tried to ask a question, but was interrupted "What's your name then?" The question startled Kahlan; she forgot to make up a name.

Thinking of the first name that came to mind, she whispered "Cara, Cara Mason." Trying not to grin at the thought of Cara ever being pregnant, she paid closer attention to the midwife.

Noticing her tense posture, the midwife sighed "No man to hold your hand then?"

Grimacing, Kahlan replied "No, he he died" Deciding that it was better to say the father was dead then making her child a bastard, Kahlan muttered "I'm sorry Mrs., nothing has ever happened to me like this before"

"Oh please, call me Louise. Don't you worry, I'll have you up to date in no time and sorry about your husband, bainling was it?" Nodding mutely Kahlan returned to her day dreaming. In her dreaming, she was still with Richard; they were excited about her being pregnant and were desperate to find the stone of tears. She knew the dream could still come true if she just returned. As much as her heart told her it would be ok, she knew she had to protect Richard's baby. Although she admitted her logic was floored, she couldn't think of any other way. Deciding to stick with her logic, she contemplated how long it would be before her baby could protect herself, ten years she decided, ten years was how long she would wait. Although she knew that if the keeper had been defeated it would have been by then, she knew she couldn't go to Richard then death followed him like a shadow and she was scared that his child would be added to the long list of innocents that had died in his place. Pulling herself together, she listened closer to the midwife.

"Those bainlings are causing all sorts of trouble they are. Just last week in fact a little boy got murdered in his own garden. Scares the mind doesn't it dear." When Kahlan nodded, Louise continued "Murdering people in broad daylight, whatever next? But my dear that topic must be a rough one for you. Shall we continue?"

"Please" Kahlan muttered, surprised that her voice sounded so week. She was just thinking of the little boy and prayed harder that Richard would continue on his quest and save the people.

Sitting straight, she let Louise prod and poke at her belly, nodding and answering questions when she was asked. After a few minutes, Louise sat back in her chair. Turning to face her, she explained "You are indeed with child, no more than a month I'd say" Kahlan exhaled, she was starting to fear her own judgement. Just hearing another person tell her that her sacrifice had not been in vain, made her feel hope beyond belief.

"Now Cara dear, you have several choices ahead of you. You can shed the child or you can put it up for adoption. And although I have no idea why you would choose this path, you can keep it."

As Louise's words washed over her, Kahlan pulled her arm tighter around her stomach; the thought of anyone trying to kill her baby was infuriating. "I'm keeping it" She put on her best confessor face and sat tall in the chair, showing the woman that she could handle it.

"All right then, I will see to it personally that your baby is delivered into this world safely. Now..."

They continued to talk throughout most of the morning, Kahlan hanging on to everyone of the woman's words. Although she knew a lot about how to handle birth from her confessor days, Kahlan found that she had forgotten most of it.

She kept on noticing how Louise's eyes went from her face to her hair. Kahlan knew it looked terrible. To stay completely hidden, Kahlan had hacked at her hair until it hung just above the shoulder, although it was not the neatest thing in the world Kahlan was proud at how she was able to hack things so close to her neck with a dagger and survive. Although she missed her long curls greatly, she knew that protecting Richard's baby was more important than any amount of hair.

Plucking up her courage Louise asked "What happened to your hair Cara?"

Automatically Kahlan replied "I burnt it so I had to cut it all short, but I didn't have any scissors."

A look of pity filled Louise's eyes as she clambered to her feet and bustled of into the next room "Well I'll just have to neaten that up for you dear."

After Kahlan's hair was fixed, Kahlan decided it was time to go. Picking up her purse Kahlan asked "How much do I owe you then?"

"Nothing dear" at Kahlan's protests, Louise shushed her "My dear you've been through a lot, the least I can do is offer you a free session. Now remember to take the ointment twice a day and don't over stress yourself. I will see you in a months time at your place. Goodbye Cara" With that, she slammed the door in Kahlan's face.

Hunching her shoulder against the chilly wind, Kahlan made her way home.

Back at her house, Kahlan lit a fire and pulled out her favourite sketch book. Sharpening her pencil, she hummed to herself as she imagined what she was about to draw. It was her favourite sketch book not because of the strength of the paper or the pretty cover, it was the drawings inside.

She smiled to herself as she sketched on a pouted mouth and warm brown eyes. Talking about the baby so much had made her remember the time Zedd had made Richard carry his pack. His face still made her laugh. Finishing the sketch, she closed the book and ran her fingers along the embossed cover Your Father the words said.

Although she had planned for her child to meet her father when she was much older, Kahlan didn't want her growing up without knowing who her dad was. Placing the book back on the shelf, she stroked the spine "I miss you Richard"

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"_I miss you Richard"_ standing up, Richard scanned the trees, looking for the source of the voice. There was no mistaking the sweet tone, it was Kahlan.

"Are you alright my boy" Zedd clasped him on the shoulder. Wondering what could have made his grandson jump like that.

"I'm fine Zedd." At the dubious look Zedd gave him, he whispered "Trust me I'm not going anywhere, I promise you that I will complete the quest and save the people"

Looking into his eyes, Zedd could see the pain in them. He knew Richard wanted to end his life just as the keeper did. Knowing that Richard was strong enough, he nodded, nut didn't release his shoulder "and what about after?"

Richard exhaled; Zedd was pushing him to the edge with his constant questioning. "I haven't thought that far ahead Zedd. Let's get moving." With that he turned and stalked after Cara.

Zedd watched him go with worry in his eyes. "Please spirits, don't let him do anything stupid" he prayed to no one before running to catch up with the others.


	3. Chapter 3

_Authors note: Ok I thought I might mension I don't have a beta for any of my stories so if there are errors sorry in advance. _

Landing hard, Kahlan gasped. She knew she shouldn't be doing this in her current situation, but her people were in danger. Rolling behind a fence, she stroked her bump, trying to tell her child that it would be alright.

Following the bainling with her piercing eyes, she saw it heading towards the farm house, sprinting towards the unsuspecting toddler playing on the lawn. She panicked at the thought of any child getting hurt. Before she had just thought it wrong how innocent children should have to die in place of thieves and murderers, but know, with her own child, she realised the bond between mother and child. Trying not to think about what the mother would be like if she found her toddler dead on the lawn, she charged at the bainling.

As she ran, time seemed to slow. It was almost like a dream as she watched the bainling raise the knife higher above the screaming child. Trying desperately to move her legs faster, she watched the knife fall lower and lower, slicing through the air towards the paralysed child.

Knowing she would never reach it in time, she yanked her dagger from her boot and threw it at the bainling, watching it sink deep into the bainling's flesh. She smiled as it toppled over, away from the child.

Kicking the rotting body aside, she bent and picked up the wailing child. Wondering where the mother was, she made her way towards the house. As she held the child to her, trying to sooth him a woman came running out onto the porch, screaming the child's name. Hearing his mother, the toddler stuck out his arms expectantly.

Scooping the boy out of Kahlan's arms the woman cooed the child to sleep, before enveloping Kahlan in a hug. "You saved him, you saved my little boy" She cried over and over again in to Kahlan's shoulder. Embarrassed, Kahlan hugged the woman back, unsure what to say she muttered comfort into the woman's ear until she let go.

Standing straight, the woman looked her up and down "Thank you for saving Joseph. You must get out of the cold, come inside." Without waiting for an answer, the woman turned and jogged back to the house. Hovering Kahlan debated whether to follow the woman or destroy the corps first.

Deciding on the corps, Kahlan walked over to the dead thing, removed her blade from its heart and began to try and drag it. A sharp pain in her back, made her gasp. Straightening up, she jumped when the woman spoke "Let my husband take care of that, come in and get warm." Giving up, Kahlan followed the woman inside.

Setting a pot of tea on the table the woman asked "So what's your name then?"

"Kah... Cara, that's my name, Cara Mason." Kahlan winced at how close she was to saying her real name.

"Look dear, I'm sorry to probe, but I've seen you around town a lot and I can't help but notice that you're always alone. Does your husband approve of you running around trouble in your condition?"

Sighing, Kahlan decided to stick with her widow story. "My husband died at the hand of those creatures not too long ago. Although I am not "running around trouble" as you put it, I was merely taking a leisurely stroll around the countryside; it helps with the baby you know."

Slightly pink, the woman nodded "I'm sorry if I offended you Cara, I meant no harm. I was just worried about how you were faring. My name's Diana by the way."

Smiling at the good hearted woman Kahlan replied "Not at all Diana, thank you for your concern, but I assure you I am faring fine." Noticing Diana trying to interrupt, Kahlan blocked her "How about we leave as just friends?"

"Why yes of course, friends we shall be, and as friends I would like to invite you to lunch with me and a few others."

Knowing she was going to be sticking around for a while Kahlan nodded. "So how far along are you?" Diana asked, staring pointedly at her bump.

"Four months, give or take a few days." Guessing where the conversation was leading, Kahlan settled back into her chair and started a lengthy conversation with Diana about children.

Hearing footsteps, Kahlan froze, shushing Diana, she pulled out her daggers and slipped into a defensive crouch. Hearing Diana laugh, she turned to tell her to be quite, when a man walked in. Realising he wasn't a bainling, Kahlan straightened up.

"Diana, why is there a rotting corps on our lawn?" He bent down and hugged little Joseph, who had dived out from under the table at his father's voice.

"That was a bainling dear, Cara here killed it just as it was about to attack our son. She tried to move it, but couldn't in her current state."

As if noticing her for the first time, the man smiled in thanks "I'm Philip, thank you for saving my son. I will move the body for you, it's the least I could do." Turning back to his wife, he joked "What no mother's meeting today?"

Slapping a hand to her forehead Diana said "Oh yes, I completely forgot, come on Cara, it's only a few minutes' walk.

As they walked through the woods, Kahlan began to get a peculiar sense of being there before. On the path, she was introduced to two women Rita and Nicole. Rita had a girl named Chloe, who was about six and Nicole was eight months pregnant with a boy. As she proudly stated, before carrying on with her walk.

Although Kahlan was a good traveller, none of the woman knew that, and kept asking her if she needed to take a break. Getting tired of saying "I'm fine" all the time, Kahlan walked ahead with the children.

Reaching the clearing she smiled, a beautiful cottage stood nestled against the trees in front of her, making a picturesque setting of a family home. Walking to the door, Rita knocked twice before opening the door and saying "Hey Dennee, we bought a friend along, she goes by the name Cara Mason" Hearing a something smash, Kahlan froze. It couldn't be her sister, could it?

Stepping into the kitchen, she bent by the kneeling woman and picked up a few bits of china, "Here let me help with that." Watching Dennee look up and gasp, she raised a finger to her lips, begging her to be quite.

"You know I never thought you were the clumsy type Dennee," shaking her head, Diana went to go sit at the oak table, turning her attention back to Kahlan; she asked "have you thought of any names yet?"

"Not really, I just want it to be a girl that's all" Kahlan accepted the tea Dennee offered her and joined the three women at the table.

Diana seemed the most talkative out of the three and began again without a pause "Really? I thought it was only confessors who cared about the gender. Come to think of it I haven't seen any confessors poking there noises around here lately-"

"I heard they were all dead" Rita butted in obviously trying to get a look in.

"No, isn't there one still travelling with the seeker Kathryn or something" Nicole seemed almost bored by the subject, as if the extinction of confessors wasn't worth bothering about.

"Kahlan, her name was Kahlan." Kahlan noticed the anger in Dennee's tone and pinched her under the table, warning her to keep her mouth shut.

"If anyone wants to know the truth, I know it." Kahlan kept her voice calm, as if trying to hide even an ounce of emotion "The confessor travelling with the seeker is dead now, she died about six months ago. Her name was Kahlan, but I'm sure we don't have to worry. Something tells me the seeker will stop at nothing to save this land."

Trying to ignore Diana's curious glare, Kahlan sipped her tea. "You seem to know a lot about his man" Diana blurted.

Picking up the subtle hint of jealousy on her tongue, Kahlan smiled "In the war my husband fought for the resistance. One day the seeker came by in need of shelter, his confessor was with him. We took him in for the night and over dinner we talked."

Rita gasped, "So let me get this straight, not only did you save a child from a bainling, but you also met the seeker. Is he as wonderful as the stories say?"

Wondering what stories there was about her seeker, Kahlan tried desperately to remember all of the different lies she'd told "He was very polite, and seemed to care for others way more than he did himself. I remember thinking that besides my husband he was one of the most handsome men I had ever met." Realising how her face had become slack and her eyes unfocused, Kahlan put thoughts of Richard to the back of her mind.

"Did you flirt with him?" At Kahlan's confused look, Diana explained "well if he's as hansom as you say. Surly you must have thought what an opportunity it would have been. To say you slept with the seeker would have made you very popular"

It was Kahlan's turn to get pinched. Unable to contain all of her anger, she spat "the seeker would never do anything like that and I would never cheat my husband."

The tense silence that filled the room made Kahlan sigh, she was supposed to be fitting in "Sorry, I... it's just that he seemed to be one of the nicest men I'd ever met and I wouldn't want him to have that sort of reputation around him.

A boring hour later, everybody left, except Kahlan.

Standing by the sink, Dennee began washing the dishes severely "What in the name of the creator is going on Kahlan?" She asked, not bothering to turn and glare at her sister.

Kahlan sighed and began drying the clean dishes "I don't know where to start Dennee"

Dennee pondered for a moment, her hands pausing in the bubbly water. She didn't want to hurt her sister, but she could tell something was wrong and she had to know what. "Ok, how about I ask you questions and you give me answers?"

Kahlan nodded mutely. Whilst plucking a clean dish from her sister's hand, she tried to prepare herself for the onslaught of emotions that she knew was about surface. "Have you taken a mate?" Again Kahlan shook her head. Dennee gasped "The child...is it Richard's?" Nodding, Kahlan dropped her eyes to the dish she was holding. "Kahlan Amnell, what have you done? Look at me when you speak, you are not a child."

Surprised by Dennee's bossy behaviour, she grinned. Looking her directly in the eyes, she spook "Yes the child is Richard's and I couldn't be happier about it and before you ask, no he is not confessed"

Slowly Dennee grinned. "I'm so happy for you sister, wait, why did you say you were dead?"

Dennee fired questions until Kahlan's voice was horse from talking. Summing it up, Dennee asked "So you're keeping Richard's child from him to protect it and you "killed" yourself so he wouldn't follow you, but you plan to see him again. Just after the child can protect herself?"

"When you say it like that, I sound truly crazy, but yes that is the idea. Will you promise me something sister?" Looking deep into Dennee's eyes, Kahlan begged her to understand.

"Of course, what is it?" Dennee knew she would promise her sister anything, but she was still unsure about what Kahlan was doing. Even though she knew that the child would be one of the most loved children in the Midlands, she still thought it wrong not to give her a father.

"Promise that you will never tell the seeker that I am alive, or that he has a child until I do?" Inwardly, Dennee groaned.

Knowing it was for the best, Dennee nodded and placed her hand over Kahlan's heart, whispering "I promise" just like they did when they were children.

"Wait, let me get this straight. We're going to tell the woman I killed that her sister is dead because I failed to protect her. No offense or anything lord Rahl, but don't you think that's just a little stupid having your best protector killed?" Cara huffed as Richard walked further ahead. It was as if he was trying to ignore her!

Speeding up, Richard tried to tune out Cara's constant moaning. He didn't want to see Dennee anymore than she did. It wasn't that he had anything against her, in fact from what he knew of her, she was one of the nicest people he had met.

It was just the way she acted so much like Kahlan and the love he knew the two sisters shared. He did not want to be the one to deliver the news to her, for both their sakes.

As Kahlan filled his mind, he felt the familiar pain flow through his body. Although it had been months since she died, it still hurt as if it were yesterday. He gripped the silver locket around his neck until his knuckles turned white.

"We will arrive just before lunchtime tomorrow. I hope she's a good cook. Are you alright my boy?" Zedd came up beside him and put an arm around his shoulder, trying to keep his voice as cheerful as possible. He had found that he missed Kahlan dearly. He missed her laugh, he missed her cooking, heck he even missed her rows with Cara. Although none of them would be there if it weren't for Richard, he felt as if she had not only taken Richards's soul with her, but also their hope.

Richard nodded mutely still lost in his thoughts of Kahlan. Absentmindedly he stroked the locket around his neck, Kahlan's last words hovering in his mind "I will always love you...forever"

Kahlan laughed as Toby squirmed in her arms as she mercifully tickled him. "Now now Kahlan play nice" Dennee joked, lifting a finger she wiggled it at Kahlan and laughed when she pouted. Although Toby wasn't technically hers, she loved him like her own and loved her role as Lucinda when it involved him.

Placing Toby carefully on the floor, Kahlan stood up to help Dennee with the potato's she was peeling.

As she peeled and chopped, she hummed a tune Richard used to hum. Although she missed her old life very much, she enjoyed just being able to relax with Dennee and let the days fly by.

Hearing a knock at the door, she froze. She knew Richard had not seen Dennee yet and the times fit perfectly. Trying to be as silent as possible, she slid to the window and peeked out. Sure enough, Richard stood there, looking as beautiful as the last time she'd seen him. Smiling at the sight of him, she nearly missed Cara and Zedd standing behind him.

Stepping back from the window she knew she needed to hide. Whispering to Dennee to keep her promise, she slid into the bedroom.

As she sat down on the bed, she heard Dennee open the door. "Richard, what are you doing here?" Kahlan was proud at the way her sister could lie so easily that even Richard could be fooled.

A small smile lit up her face as she remembered the first time she had taught Dennee to lie. "I'm sorry Dennee but we have some bad news, may we come in?" Kahlan recognised Zedd's voice and suppressed a groan. She wanted desperately to hear Richard speak.

Hearing them cross the threshold and take their positions Kahlan grew impatient. "Kahlan's dead" Kahlan's inpatients turned to sorrow as she heard Richard's flat voice, knowing she'd put it there. Choking back tears, she tried to listen for her sister's reaction, but all she could here was Richard choking and crying. "What have I done?" she muttered as she pulled the blankets over her ears, unable to listen any longer.


	4. Chapter 4

Trying to hold in the tears that continued to flow from her eyes Dennee watched Richard ride off into the sunset for what felt like the last time.

Seeing Richard the way he was, she did not find it hard to act that Kahlan was dead. By the end of the day she had had tears. Even though she knew Kahlan was alive and safe, even though she was in the next room safe and healthy. Dennee felt like she was dead because in truth the loyal older sister that stood by her loved ones until the end was dead.

Standing up, she opened the door to the bedroom and called to Kahlan "It's alright, they're gone now." Upon hearing nothing, Dennee pushed open the door and gasped at what she saw.

Under a mass of twisted sheets lay Kahlan. She was curled up in a ball with one hand hugging her bump and the other clasping her chest. Her body was shaking with uncontrollable sobs and Dennee was surprised they hadn't heard her.

Unable to listen any longer, Dennee half ran over to her sister and enveloped her in a hug, trying to calm her down. "I did that to him, I did that my Richard, I'm a monster" Kahlan was gasping for breath as she tried to control her breathing. Dennee was slightly scared for her sister; she'd never seen her fall apart like this, ever.

Thinking of something to say, Dennee held her close and whispered soothingly "You are not a monster Kahlan, you are merely a scared mother trying to protect her unborn child. Richard's pain will not last forever. Think of the day that you will meet him again, think of the way you will proudly introduce your beautiful daughter, think of the way he will smile from ear to ear at seeing you again, think of that and let all your pain flow away..."

As her sister's shaking subsided, Dennee grinned at her sister. Trying to lighten the mood she said "You know you're staying here tonight, I'm not letting you walk back through the dark when you're like this.

Kahlan gave a throaty laugh and sat up "I don't like walking in the dark without Richard anyway"

Dennee looked sideways at her sister, giving her a knowing look "You really do love him don't you?"

Kahlan grinned "I really do" Deciding she could do with a few minutes rest she rolled back on her side.

Trying to let the peaceful plains of sleep take her, she warily watched her sister with dropping eyelids. Dennee grinned at Kahlan, deciding to have a little fun she gently slapped Kahlan's thighs and practically yelled "Well come on then. If you're staying the night, you're going to have to pull your weight. Washing up duty now!" Groaning, Kahlan let Dennee pull her to her feet and followed her into the kitchen.

"Breathe Cara, breathe" Kahlan could barely hear Dennee's soothing words, all she could hear were her short pants and her hands clenching and unclenching.

"The baby's crowning, come on Cara just one more push" The midwife's encouraging voice filled the room and Kahlan gasped as she pushed as hard as she could. Unable to carry on, she flopped back on the mountain, gasping. For a second there was silence, and then she heard the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard. Richard's child filled the air with her screams.

Barely moving her head, Kahlan watched Dennee wrap her baby in a blanket and head towards her. Neither of them noticed the midwife slip from the room. Bending down, Dennee carefully raised her sister into a sitting position.

"You've done it Kahlan" Dennee grinned as she watched Kahlan's eyes slide from her face to the baby in her arms. Stretching out her arms, Kahlan waited impatiently for Dennee to give her Richard's child.

Dennee gently placed her in her sister's arms and took a step away from the bed. Kahlan's full attention wound round the thing in her arms. She stared dumbstruck at the smooth porcelain skin, the bright blue eyes and a face that could resemble her father no more than it did. Lifting a shaking hand, Kahlan stroked her head, surprised at its smoothness, she grinned. Her little Richard grinned back, making her laugh. She watched in wonder as a little hand pulled itself from the blankets and wrapped around her little finger.

So concentrated on the baby in her arms, Kahlan didn't notice Dennee sitting on the bed beside her until she spoke "Does she have a name?" Kahlan jumped a little but made room for her sister on the bed. She'd never really thought about a name, she'd never really gotten over the shock of carrying Richard's baby. A name had never crossed her mind.

Thinking franticly, she remembered a name she'd loved since she was little girl. "Aya, her name's Aya"

A little shocked that Kahlan had named her child after a fictional goddess, Dennee made it official "Then let us invite Aya Amnell into the world."

Kahlan shook her head slightly and spoke in barely more than a whisper "No not Amnell, Cypher... Aya Cypher"

Dennee laughed, "You know I think this is the first time in history that a confessor has been named after the father instead of the mother."

Kahlan laughed too "Well there are many things about this confessor which is worthy of the history books." She grimaced slightly when Aya started crying, demanding attention. "She's hungry" whispered Kahlan as if it was the most amazing thing in the whole of creation. Pulling her sweat soaked nightgown out the way, she carefully lifted Aya up to her breasts where she quickly latched on and began to drink.

"I wonder what other things newborns drink" Dennee said as more of an out loud thought and was surprised when Kahlan answered.

"There's some sort of fruit that looks like a green mango. If you mush it up and squeeze the juices into the baby's mouth." Dennee gave her sister a sceptical look. "What? Your child liked it"

"What do you mean 'your child liked it'?" Dennee couldn't work out what Kahlan was talking about.

"Well when we were trying to save him from the Mother Confessor, he got hungry and I didn't know what to feed him, but Richard got the fruit thing and gave it to him" Kahlan grinned as she remembered the way Richard smiled at her as he fed the baby.

"Oh it was Richard's idea, of course she remembers it" Kahlan stifled a laugh at Dennee's joke and watched as Aya relaxed her hold on her. She lowered her back to her lap and cooed her until her eyelids drooped and she fell asleep.

Kahlan sat with Richard's child curled up in her arms feeling happier than she had in months.

_Authors note: Ok I thought I might mension that the baby's name is from a fictional book. A very good book at that :) And yes I know I've spelt it differently. Please R and R_


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's note: Yay I'm glad I finally finished this chapter. It's taken me fovever to write as I kept on changing it. I know it ends a little suddenly but that's because there's a heck of a lot more I want to write and it just seemed like an ok place to end. Also, I have recently found out that Lucinda's son is actually called Edmund so sorry for any confusion. Hope you enjoy XD_

Laughter filled the busy tea room as little Toby fell of his chair again. Kahlan tried not to laugh as a sighing Dennee picked him up and placed him back on his chair for the fourth time that day. Glad that Aya hadn't got to that stage yet, Kahlan held the sleeping baby closer to her chest. Over the last few months, Aya had grown a shock of coarse brown hair and could even say 'mamma'. At times Kahlan had even heard the word "Dada" uttered in her sleep. The thought of Aya dreaming of her dad made Kahlan grin, she truly was daddy's little girl.

Thinking of Richard, Kahlan wondered where he was, was he in Heartland, or was he on his way to D'Hara to take the title Lord Rahl. All that she knew of his whereabouts was that he was not searching for the stone of tears as the veil had closed mere days after Aya's birth.

Although, that was months ago, people acted as if were yesterday. There were still parties in the streets and drunken cheers to the Seeker. Completely lost in her thoughts, Kahlan didn't notice the three people who had stepped through the ever open door.

Feeling something pinching her arm, she turned; Dennee was staring at her with a panicked expression. Leaning forward, she heard Dennee whisper in her ear, "Kahlan, do as I say walk out the back door and go home. Whatever you do, do not turn around or show your face to anyone."

Confused at her sister's panicked face, Kahlan scanned the room for any threat, not seeing anything unusual; she looked back to her sister, raising her eyebrows slightly. Sighing Dennee tilted her head to the three people at the bar. Kahlan seemed to freeze as she saw who Dennee was talking about.

Sitting close together was Richard and Cara, conveying in whispers, obviously nervous about something. Zedd was sat casually beside them, noisily eating the honey cake the bar maid had just served him.

She couldn't understand what they were doing there. The only person they would ever need here was Dennee. Kahlan moved from her frozen position. "I have to go see what they're talking about." Ignoring Dennee's hushed protests, Kahlan crossed the room and took a seat two down from Richard.

"Are you sure about this? You know that if you take your own life it is not in my line of duty to bring you back." Cara sounded like she had lost a great battle and was being forced to surrender. Although she knew Richard would take his life someday, Cara had never guessed that it would be so soon.

"Yes I understand Cara, now can we please just give the papers to Dennee so I can get this over with."Hearing Richard plotting to take his life, Kahlan knew she was the only one who could stop him.

She was about to get up to go talk to him, when he suddenly sprang to his feet and walked to Dennee with Cara in tow. "Bags" Kahlan muttered; she'd left Aya over there.

Dennee watched Richard pick his way through the crowd towards her. Putting on her best confessor face she smiled at him. "Richard, what a surprise to see you here, what can I do for you?" Dennee made her voice as calm as possible, as she realised Aya was still on Kahlan's chair.

"I need to give you something very important, Dennee. May I sit down?" Nodding mutely, Dennee could only stare as he pulled Aya's chair towards him.

"Lord Rahl, don't sit down" The panic in Cara's voice was evident as she stared dumbstruck at Aya. Wondering why Cara had panicked so much, Richard looked down and saw an angle lying beneath him.

He quickly bent down and carefully picked the baby up. Rocking her slowly, he stared in awe at the child that seemed to resemble Kahlan so much. "Whose is it?" he muttered almost to himself.

"That's Cara Mason's baby that is" said a voice from behind, Richard didn't even turn to acknowledge it; he was too busy watching Cara fume.

"I'm Cara Mason; no one has the right to steal this name." Cara sounded livid and Richard could see her gripping her agilees under the table.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, Richard whispered, "Calm down Cara, we'll get to the bottom of this." Feeling a slight tug on his neck, he looked down to see a pair of painfully familiar blue eyes staring back at him. He felt the tug again and realised that the child was playing with his tooth necklace. Holding it securely in her tiny palms, she whispered the last words he thought he'd ever hear "dada". He dearly wished the word to be the truth.

Across the room, Kahlan perched on the edge of her stool, staring intently at Richard holding their child. So concentrated on he, that she did not notice Zedd walking over to her until he whispered "Nice try Kahlan, but do you really think you could fool a wizard of the first order"

Jumping slightly, Kahlan turned to Zedd. Finding him smiling, she laughed too "No not really, it's good to see you again Zedd." Standing up she gently hugged him.

"That baby that Richard's holding that's yours isn't it?" Kahlan was surprised that Zedd had worked it out before Richard, but then again he was a very wise old man. Nodding, she smiled. "Well let's go introduce her to Richard then". Clamping her on the back, he ignored Kahlan's struggles as he pulled her across the room.

"Who would dare to take my name?" Cara half snarled at the people around her. Scared people cast their faces away, trying desperately not to anger the Mord'Sith. Getting impatient, Cara growled "Tell me who or that little thing that the Seeker is holding, will get a jab from my agilee." As Cara approached a very worried looking Richard, the crowd edged further back.

"Cara no" Cara heard Zedd's yell but ignored it. She was furious at someone thinking they could just take her name and get away with it. She blinked once and turned her full concentration to the thing in Richard's arms. Raising her agilee, she poked Aya directly between her ribs.

Aya's screams filled the air as Kahlan rushed forward, only to be pushed back by the crowd of people trying to escape. She could only watch as Richard pulled Aya out of Cara's reach and yelled at her to stop. Kahlan nearly screamed as she heard Cara say that she was only delivering the punishment for taking her name.

Across the room, Richard resisted the temptation to slap Cara. Instead he tried to sooth the crying child in his arms. As he rocked her, he imagined what it would have been like if the baby was his, in that world Kahlan was alive and standing by his side. Hearing a sharp slap followed by a glass breaking, Richard stared at the two women fighting in front of him.

He didn't move for a second, he just watched the strangely familiar fighting of the other woman, as she tried to avoid Cara's agilee. Deciding that Cara was his responsibility, he placed the child carefully on her chair and pushed the woman out the way. He winced as he felt her block him, how could she do that?

More preoccupied with the woman's fighting skills, he didn't notice Cara's second agilee until he heard the woman scream. The sound seemed to kill him where he stood. Although he hadn't heard it many times before, it was the only sound that set his bones shaking and his heart burning- Kahlan's scream.

Now desperate to get Cara away from her, he yelled at Cara "Cara, Cara stop what you are doing this second." Letting all the anger and fear he was feeling fill his voice, he knew Cara could not disobey such a command.

Reluctantly, Cara pulled her agilee away, instead she went to slap her, only to find Richard blocking her "Go and wait outside Cara" She flinched at the anger in his voice, it was obvious she had displeased her lord.

As he turned to face Kahlan, he vaguely noticed Zedd holding the child that had caused the pandemonium earlier wondering what was so important about her. All thoughts of the child left him as he found himself staring into Kahlan's sapphire blue eyes. He stared dumbstruck at her, taking in all her beauty.

She watched him carefully as he plucked a strand of hair from the rest and stared at the shortness of it, she wondered what she was supposed to say to him. "Err hi" she muttered as he continued staring at her.

Richard's mind seemed to be struggling with the possibility that Kahlan was alive and well. He barely spoke above a whisper as he spoke the only word in his mind "How?"

Kahlan sighed, she knew she was going to have to explain everything to him, but right now all she wanted to do was hold him and her daughter. "Richard, there's so much I need to tell you, but this is neither the time nor the place." As she spoke, she noticed his face becoming more animated, soon it broke into his heart warming smile that she had been so desperate to see.

"Kahlan..." Joy overtook sense as he yanked her of her feet and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. Surprised, but pleased with Richard's easy acceptance of her request, she threw her arms round his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist. As she nuzzled her face in his neck, she felt overwhelming joy and peace that only Richard could bring her.

Across the room, Zedd bounced Aya in his arms as he watched his friends reunite. "You know you're going to have quite a life aren't you. With a mother who rules the Midlands and a father who rules D'Hara, you're soon going to get tired of all the petticoats and corsets, not to mention all the pressure on you to be perfect. But don't you worry, grandpa Zedd will always have a spare bed in his cabin and a handful of toys for you, just in case." Zedd watched as Aya stared blankly up at him, not understanding a word he was saying. Zedd was still grinning at his great-granddaughter when Kahlan pulled Richard over to him.

At Kahlan's request, Richard let her lead him across the room to where Zedd was standing with the mystery child. When she reached him, Zedd willingly handed the child to her, "bonding already, I see." Zedd laughed as he took in Kahlan's beaming face and Richard's confused one. That boy could be very slow on the uptake sometimes.

Glad to have Aya back in her arms, Kahlan tickled her under the chin "I hope your Grandpa's been playing nicely." Noticing Richard's confused look she held Aya out, signalling for him to hold her. Trying to comprehend what was going on, Richard held the baby carefully in his arms. Whoever she was, she was important to Kahlan, so he made sure not to hurt her.

Staring down at her, he felt a strange bond drawing him to her, as if she were someone he should remember, but couldn't. He was starting to get really frustrated with everyone else seemingly keeping something from him, but his frustration turned to wonder as he looked closer at the baby's face. In her face he could easily see elements of Kahlan in her, but when she smiled he began to see things that were also familiar to him, he could see hints of his smile and face in the child. Trying not to drop the baby with his revelation, he turned to Kahlan with a bright smile on his face.

She was watching him with an expectant look and when he grinned at her, she knew he had finally worked it out. "I can't believe it" he muttered, looking between her and the child in his arms, his child.

Breaking the atmosphere, Zedd laughed, "Well you better believe it, 'cause it's true, you're a dad." Richard struggled with the information that Zedd had just given him; he had a child, with Kahlan? No longer caring at the how part, he pulled Kahlan into yet another hug.

Leaning into him, she placed her hand on Aya's warm head and joked with Zedd, "Way to break it to him gently."

Zedd scoffed "Please with your plan we'd be here until morning and I'm hungry." When Zedd mentioned his stomach, an idea came to Kahlan's mind; she really needed to talk with Richard alone, but couldn't have Zedd interrupting. Fishing a few silvers from her pocket, she threw them to Zedd.

"Dinner's on me, my treat." She watched as Zedd's face lit up like a child as he half ran towards the bar.

Pulling out of the hug, she grasped Richard's hand, "come with me?" she asked, knowing his answer would be yes.

"Where?" He replied, wanting nothing more than to be alone with her and their daughter.

"To my house of course" She grinned as he nodded. As she walked through the jumble of tables, she waved to Dennee and tried to control her laugh at Diana's perplexed look.


	6. Chapter 6

_Ok this was suposed to be the last chapter, but it kind of got too long. So I ended it here. More Aya love to come :)_

As they walked hand in hand back to her house, Kahlan couldn't help but grin. Although the circumstances were different to how she imagined them, she realised she would have never been able to survive eleven years without Richard, one was hard enough. She watched as Richard held his tooth necklace above Aya's head and swung it just out of reach, Aya waved her arms above her, desperately trying to catch the tooth. Kahlan laughed when Richard suddenly gave in and lowered it just enough for Aya to catch it.

Haring Kahlan laugh, Richard squeezed her hand. "I never asked, what is her name?"He felt so ashamed with himself that he'd never asked the name of his own child before.

Kahlan just squeezed his hand back. "Her name's Aya..." Kahlan suddenly felt worried that he wouldn't like the name or that it wasn't appropriate "...but if you want to we can change it to something else." Richard froze, why would he ever want to change the name Kahlan had given her? After all, he thought, it was a very pretty name.

"Kahlan, I would never try to change something so beautiful, what does it mean?" Kahlan ducked her head slightly and began pulling him harder up the mud track they were following. "Why won't you tell me? ... No wait let me guess, you named her after a pet?" Kahlan tried to keep a straight face at Richard's childishness.

"No, I've never had a pet" Richard gave her side look that clearly questioned her sanity. "Try again you have three guesses" She tried to get into his game as she didn't like Richard giving her that look, it reminded her too much of the look women used to give her when they saw her in the training yard with the soldiers.

"Ok then, a star?" Kahlan said nothing, she just shook her head. "A... maiden from a fairytale" Again she shook her head, but this time the corners of her mouth turned up. "I'm close aren't I, I have to be close." Richard jumped up and down like a little child, stopping suddenly, he jumped in front of Kahlan "Come on, this isn't the yes or no game... is it?"

Kahlan laughed, "No it isn't; now why are you acting so strange, did somebody put something in your drink?" She had never seen him so hyper and it kind of scared her slightly. Richard surprised her by looking dejected rather than sheepish. "What is it, what's wrong Richard?" Kahlan gently cupped his face as she starred into his warm brown eyes, trying to figure out the source of his pain.

"It's just... well I thought I lost you, but when I saw you were alive I got really... erm, well lots of things really, but they were all good emotions" Kahlan closed her eyes and tried to retain the guilt she felt coursing through her. She knew she would never be able to forgive herself for the pain that she had put him through, she just prayed that he would be able to forgive her someday.

Holding his face in her hands, she stood on tip toes so she was looking him directly in the eye "Richard... I am so sorry" leaning her forehead against his, she let lose the tears she had been holding. "I should have never left you, but I thought I had no choice."

Seeing her tears fall, he pulled her to his chest, "I don't know when you ever have no choice, but whatever it was, I don't blame you" Kahlan, feeling his love for her, could not resist pulling into a passionate kiss.

After a few seconds Richard leaned back for air "Please tell me what happened." Slowly, Kahlan nodded. Walking round the last bend, Richard grinned at what lay before him. The house in front of him seemed an exact replica of Chase's old house back in Heartland. He stared at the seemingly familiar porch. "How..." he muttered, barely able to speak.

Kahlan smiled, "When I first came here, no one wanted it because it is so far out the way. It reminded it me so much of the day we met that I couldn't resist buying it. Of course it's a lot smaller than Chase's" She paused to unlock the door, then continued, "But after all the time I spent in the woods, I felt I needed something a bit more open..."She thought that she was rambling but she wasn't really sure until Richard placed a finger on her lips.

"It's beautiful" He looked around, taking in the large fire place and cosy reading corner. Walking to it, he scanned the book titles, looking for anything familiar. There were a few books about the Midlands and some that looked to be children's books, but apart from that he couldn't see anything he knew.

Holding Aya up to the shelf, he whispered "Why don't you show me your favourite and I'll read it to you." Not expecting Aya to do anything, he began lowering her to a more comfortable position until she stretched out her arm and grabbed a sort of sketch book that was tucked away at the end of the shelf.

Adjusting his grip on Aya, he pulled the book from the shelf, glancing at the cover, he saw the words Your father In Kahlan's hand. Intrigued, he flipped open the cover, staring at the first page. It was a poem about the seeker, reading it; he thought it odd the way Kahlan made it sound as if she hadn't ever met him. Noticing an unfamiliar name at the bottom, he realised it wasn't written by Kahlan.

Looking up at her, he saw she was biting her bottom lip, something she only did when she was nervous. Leaning forward he held Aya out to her. Shyly, she held Aya close to her, unsure what Richard was doing. He brushed passed her, stroking her face as he went. Standing by the hearth, he bent down and lit the logs already in place. As the logs caught, the room began to fill with the familiar orange glow of fire. Walking back to her, he pulled her onto his lap in one of the arm chairs by the fire.

"So what is so bad about that book, is there something I shouldn't be seeing in there?" Kahlan laughed at his question, the tension leaving her shoulders.

"No I burnt those" She gave him a look that clearly said she liked whatever she burned. Blushing at the thought of them, she tried to hide her grin at what they contained. Although she'd drawn many pictures of Richard, none of them seemed to satisfy her as much as the ones drawn late at night when Aya had long since fallen asleep. Although she loved drawing them and remembering the few blissful nights they came from, she always found that they could never compare to the real thing.

She always told herself that was the reason she'd thrown them into the fire, although sitting with Richard and having to admit what they were, she wondered if she'd thrown them in the fire so no one, especially Dennee, could find them. Her ears turned pink at the very thought of her sister discovering those scraps of paper.

"Do I even have to ask... or is my guess correct" He whispered in her ear, licking it as he went.

Kahlan tried, but failed to control the groan that fell from her lips. "I don't know what your guess is though" She whispered back, enjoying his little game.

Richard groaned at what she was asking him to say, although she thought she'd burned them all, he'd seen a note in the book about burning, so when he went over to light the fire, he saw one of the drawings stuffed between the logs. "I saw the drawing in the logs, you drew us, together"

Kahlan gasped, suddenly remembering that one. "I guess I wasn't as careful as I thought. Did you like it?"

Richard hid a grin as he remembered his school master telling him how to answer questions about art he'd seen. "Well the inspiration for the piece is beyond words, the piece itself was beautiful, and it makes me feel" he paused for breath as he watched her eyes slowly darken with lust. "Like I want to do this" he rushed, before catching her lips in his and pulling her into a passionate embrace.

Kahlan gasped at the feelings Richard was creating in her, pushing him harder against the chair, she deepened the kiss. As she pulled away for air, she felt a strange jabbing at her stomach. Looking down, she saw Aya flailing in her lap, obviously desperate to get out the cocoon her parents had trapped her in.

Richard laughed "somebody looks like they want some space" Helping Kahlan sit back slightly; he picked Aya up and held her above his head "Is that better?" He joked, wondering how she could be so calm whilst being suspended in the air. He gently began lowering his arms, and then suddenly dropped them, so Aya landed perfectly in her mother's lap with a look of shock evident in her tiny features.

Kahlan tutted, "Now now Richard, don't be mean." Gently taping him on the nose, she suddenly realised how late it was. She pulled Aya into her arms and laughed when she yawned. "Somebody needs to go to bed" Kahlan new that before she could even think about sending Aya to bed, she would need feeding. Starting to unlace her dress, she bit her lip at Richard's dumbstruck look.

He stared at her hands pulling at the ribbons, wondering what she could be doing. Pulling the dress off completely, she dumped it on the floor beside her. "Kahlan..." he half muttered, unsure if she really heard him.

"Yes Richard" Kahlan was running her hand along his thigh like she had done so long ago in those woods.

"What are you doing?" He asked, barely able breathe.

Kahlan's hand suddenly vanished as she picked up Aya and held her to her bare breasts. Richard stared in wonder as Aya latched on and began feeding. "I'm feeding my daughter." She replied a few moments too late.

Kahlan spun herself round so her back was against his chest, before leaning back, she whispered "Lose the shirt, please" Before Kahlan had finished her sentence; Richard had his shirt off and on the floor with her dress. Leaning back Kahlan sighed, "I guess you want to know what happened."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, just promise me you won't leave again." Richard flinched at the thought of her running of again, especially as he knew about Aya now.

"You make it sound like I wanted to leave in the first place, but it's important you know why I did what I did." Kahlan closed her eyes and began her tail.

"I suppose it starts three days after we made love. See, Confessors have a way of knowing when they are pregnant long before a normal woman would. When the baby first begins to develop, my Confessor magic is drawn towards it. To do what no one is really sure. All that I knew that I was with child, your child." Kahlan paused and lowered Aya gently to her lap. With their baby in her arms and Richard's arms around her waist, she felt content.

"I started to panic, thinking I would never be able to protect her while fighting the Keeper. So I decided to leave. At first I was just going to walk out of the camp, but I soon realised that if I told you the truth you would abandon your mission and come with me, and if I just left, you would follow me anyway. You were always saying that the mission was bigger than the both of us, but even so, I had a nagging feeling that you were the only one who could defeat the Keeper. That's when I decided to fake my own death. When I was on watch that night, I wrote that letter and made my tracks look like I had stepped off the edge of the cliff." Suddenly Richard flinched as if he'd been whipped. Kahlan turned round to see what was wrong and squeezed his hand at the raw pain she saw there.

"As soon as I was far enough away to know that my plan had worked, I headed straight here. I knew it was the perfect place to bring up Aya and as I'd never been here before, it would be very unlikely that anybody would recognise me. After that it is pretty obvious what happened. I bought this place and made friends with the local mother ring as Dennee and I call them. Aya was born four months ago and I've been living here with her ever since."

"Whoa Kahlan slow down a minute, why the sudden rush?" Richard tried not to laugh at the pout she gave him. "Why the sudden vagueness?"

Kahlan sighed, there was nothing she was trying to hide from Richard, and it was more the fact that her eye lids felt heavier by the second. "I'll tell you the rest in the morning, but right now I'm going to bed. Would you like to join me?" With that she scooped up her dress and slipped through a door. Richard sat in the chair for a moment. Staring at the dying embers, he grinned. Kahlan was alive!

Standing up, he followed Kahlan through to the bedroom. He walked in to find Kahlan lying on her side with a cot pulled up next to her. He watched, mesmerised as she stroked Aya's tiny head with her finger. Stepping forward he made his presence known.

Kahlan looked up from the cot and grinned, without making a sound; she pulled at the sheets and patted the empty space beside her. At her invitation, he slid his boots of and climbed into bed with her. As soon as he was in, Kahlan wormed her way into his chest and took one of his hands in her own. "Goodnight Richard"

She closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep as he kissed her cheek and whispered "Goodnight, I love you"

As Richard fell into a dreamless sleep, he thought he heard the words "I love you" fall from her lips.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: I can't belive I've finially finished this story. It's taken me forever. Oh well, hope you like it and I will be getting the sequel up soon... Hopefully_

A shrill scream startled Richard, turning over; he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. He looked towards the source of the noise and saw Kahlan bending over Aya's cot. As Kahlan picked Aya up and rocked her, Richard decided he wasn't needed and rolled over to go back to sleep.

Kahlan sat on the side of the bed holding Aya to her chest. When her little eyes refused to close, Kahlan rolled onto her back and began whispering to Aya. "Come on Aya, mummy's tired, go back to sleep now."An idea came to Kahlan's mind; she just hoped Richard was not awake to hear it. "shh, go to sleep now, my little angle, my perfect little piece of Richard..." As she cooed Aya to sleep, she watched Richard's sleeping form with a smile on her face.

She carefully placed Aya back into her cot and rolled over, only to collide with Richard. Hoping she hadn't woken him, she tried to move, only to find Richard's arm tight around her waist. "Going somewhere?" He pressed his body against hers and smiled when she rolled over to meet his waiting lips.

"Nowhere without you."Kahlan snaked her hands up his chiselled chest, stroking over the plains and dips. "mmm, I missed this..."

"I missed you" Richard replied, trailing kisses down her neck. Kahlan moaned and pulled his lips up to hers.

Reconnecting themselves with their lover, they felt home once again.

XXX

Dennee laughed at Zedd and Cara's constant bickering as she led the way up the dirt path to Kahlan's house. They'd been having the same argument for hours now and Dennee couldn't wait for Kahlan to come and listen to it.

"Hey Zedd, can you explain something to me?" Listening to the context of the argument, Dennee was beginning to wonder if Kahlan's nickname for Zedd was more than just a nickname.

Zedd broke his conversation with Cara and turned to her, "I'll try my dear, but no promises"

Dennee laughed, "Oh you will be able to answer this one, why does Kahlan call you gramps"

Zedd grinned, he didn't realise Kahlan still called him that. "It came from when Richard found out I was his grandfather. He asked me if he could call me gramps, but I said no, obviously. I don't exactly know who came up with the idea but Kahlan and Richard decided that there was safety in numbers and both started calling me gramps. It lasted about two weeks before I got so annoyed with it that I put a spell on them to always feel like they had just jumped into a plunge pool in winter. Let's just say that they never called me that again, well to my face anyway. I can't believe Kahlan still remembers that though, it was a long time ago."

Dennee stopped walking and rounded on Zedd "Richard is your grandson?" Zedd just nodded and asked how much further it was "not far, but how could Kahlan not tell me this?"

Zedd laughed again, Kahlan had told him about Dennee's tendency to overreact sometimes "I have no idea why she didn't tell you, but there are more pressing issues at hand." Zedd sighed as he felt his stomach rumble.

Cara caught Zedd's train of thought and laughed "Yes Zedd Kahlan will have food in her house." Zedd nodded happily and picked up the pace again. Dennee rushed after him, giving him a funny look as he went. Didn't he just have a cooked breakfast?

Zedd and Cara went back to their bickering, and Dennee was relieved to see Kahlan's house up ahead.

Cara stopped so suddenly in front of her that Dennee nearly walked into her "The Mother Confessor lives there" She stared dumbstruck at the shack before her, wondering why the most powerful woman in the Midlands would want to live there.

Dennee laughed "Of course she does. Didn't you think that all that time in the woods would rub off on her?" Dennee strode up to the door and knocked "Sister it's me, can I come in?"

XXX

Kahlan woke to the feel of Richard's warm body pressed against her. Turning to look at him, she wondered how he could still be asleep. She watched as he breathed in and out, fascinated by him. He looked so vulnerable in his sleep, almost like a child. Although he looked peaceful, she could still see the pain she had put him through in his face. She felt gut wrenching guilt for what she had done to him, and knew she would never be able to forgive herself for it, even if he did.

Knowing he hadn't eaten in awhile, she decided to make some breakfast. Leaving the warm cocoon of Richard's arms, she shivered in the early morning air as she checked on Aya and found her clothes. Pulling them on, she made her way into the other room, humming as she went.

As she lit the fire and prepared the food, she hummed a familiar tune. She threw the food in the pot and left it to cook while she picked up her dress and dusted it off. Picking up Richard's shirt, she noticed that it seemed heavier than normal.

As she shook it out, she saw a small bottle roll out onto the floor. Picking it up, she stared at the label. She didn't know how long she stood there staring, but a loud pop from the fire made her look away. She placed the little bottle on the table and began dishing out the food. As she filled some mugs with tea, her eyes glanced back to the little bottle.

Cara's words from the day before floated to the top of her mind _you know that if you take your own life it is not in my line of duty to bring you back. _Placing the kettle down, Kahlan walked to the bottle and picked it up, "oh Richard" she muttered, staring at the deadly curse in her hand. Resisting the temptation to throw the cursed thing in the fire, Kahlan placed everything else on a tray and made her way back to the bedroom.

As she walked in, she saw that Richard was still asleep. Placing the tray on a bed side table, she brushed a few strands of hair off of Richard's forehead. As she ran her fingers through his hair, she wondered when he'd cut it. Although she had always loved to play with his long hair, she found that he looked much more handsome with his hair shorter.

Feeling him stir under her touch, she bent down and kissed him on the lips. Richard lazily responded, barely awake. When he opened his eyes, he was met by vivid blue eyes staring down at him. "If this is heaven I think I'll stay", he muttered sleepily.

Kahlan laughed, "You're not in heaven Richard, you're with me in the land of the living and right now the land of the living has breakfast."

"Breakfast", he sat bolt upright, nearly sending the tray flying, "You have breakfast." Kahlan gave him a quizzical look as she placed the tray on his lap, he had defiantly been hanging around Zedd far too long.

As he devoured his food, Kahlan picked at hers, watching him. "Slow down there Richard, you're turning into Zedd" Kahlan mocked as he set down his empty bowl.

Looking up, he grinned, "How do you know that I'm not just trying to imitate Zedd?"

Even though she thought Richard was joking, she could never be sure with him. "I don't believe you are. I believe your just acting like him because you're hungry."

Richard grinned, he was hungry, but not enough to act the way he was. "I'm not."

"Are too" The response fell from her mouth before she realised what she said. She knew he was imitating Zedd; no one could lie to a Confessor.

"Kahlan, Kahlan, Kahlan..." Richard joked "I rather fear you've lost your touch. You know as well as I do that Confessor's can tell when someone tells a truth or a lie. You just missed an obvious truth.

Kahlan sighed, she was always bad at these play banters, "I knew you were telling the truth, it just sort of slipped out."

Richard just patted her knee and replied "Whatever makes you feel better Kahlan." Kahlan huffed and began to pull away from him. "Hey, wait Kahlan, I didn't mean to upset you." Richard pleaded with his eyes as he watched her hurt face slip away.

Suddenly that face turned into a brilliant smile, "I know, and I didn't mean to upset you when I did this." Picking up the pillow beside her, she whacked him with it.

Richard felt the pillow hit him and laughed, she didn't realise the impact of what she just did. Moving the breakfast tray out of harms way, he grabbed a pillow and hit her square on. Kahlan squealed, "This means war Cypher" she declared, before thumping him with her chosen weapon.

The laughs and screams only ended, when Richard gave up on his pillow and began mercilessly tickling Kahlan. Kahlan squirmed in his arms and begged him to stop. "Say the magic word and I will."

Kahlan whispered "please" and he let go, Straightening out her now messed up dress, she said "You do not play fair Cypher"

Richard laughed, "Didn't you meet my brother? I grew up with Michael cheating at every chance he got; of course it's rubbed off on me."

Kahlan was about to retaliate with some witty reply, when Aya started to cry. Climbing to the crib, she pulled Aya into her arms and began bouncing her. "Smells like her nappy needs changing, want to help?"

Richard scrambled to help her as she put Aya down on the changing table and began to change her. Hearing a knock on the door Kahlan sighed, that was Dennee talking. Richard's warm hands slid over hers, taking control of the change "You go, I can handle this."

Kahlan walked to the door, but hovered, obviously nervous. "Seriously Kahlan, I've got this, go talk to your sister." With one last look over her shoulder to check that he was doing it right, Kahlan walked through the main room to the door.

Opening it, she stared into the calm face of her sister. Dennee grinned and pointed over her shoulder to a nervous looking Zedd and Cara "These two wanted to see you."

Kahlan turned and smiled at the two of them, "Sure come in" Cara strode through the door with a brief nod to Kahlan whilst Zedd pulled her into one of his bone crushing hugs. "I missed you Zedd."

"I missed you too Kahlan, glad to know you didn't jump off a cliff or whatever you did. So where's the family?" Zedd pulled himself back far enough to notice then pot of warming stew over the fire.

Kahlan grinned, "I saved some just for you Zedd. Richard's in the other room changing Aya."

Zedd laughed and began spooning some stew into a bowl, "Glad you got that boy working. Let's go see how he's doing, shall we."

Kahlan joined in with his laughter and crossed to the bedroom, where she knew Richard would be. Opening the door, she saw a scene that could melt her heart. Richard sat on the bed with Aya in his lap and her teddy bear in his hand. She watched as he played with the bear and nuzzled it against Aya's face.

Walking into the room, she tried not to laugh as Aya grabbed her bear from a surprised looking Richard. Seeing her mum, Aya dropped her bear and held out her arms for Kahlan "mamma". Richard grinned at Kahlan and bought Aya over to her. He gave her to Kahlan and laughed when she refused to let go of his finger.

Walking back to the main room, they made themselves comfortable, ready to talk the day away.

They sat for hours, telling stories of the past year and things they had never heard before. Kahlan spent the whole time wrapped up in Richard's comforting embrace, happy in the knowledge that he would never let go.

As night descended, they moved out to the porch, watching the sun set, knowing the next time it rose, the world would be a little brighter.

_... and I just have to say The End_


End file.
